Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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