I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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