it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
