That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
