im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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