Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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