Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize