I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
