He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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