officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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