well you can't waste a boner
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
