What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
