Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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