i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize