Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
