Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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