that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
