where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
