RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
