I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
