im drinking this country out of the recession.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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