did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
