My hand turned me down
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
