it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize