wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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