I want to stick my p in your. b.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
oh god the rape fog is back!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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