she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
