Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
