I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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