Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
