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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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