We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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