I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
