i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
