I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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