my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
