you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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