I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
