well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
