i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
