dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
