You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There's always time for handjobs
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
