Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
