It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize