currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize