I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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