oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The air was thick with penises
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
