You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
