so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize