Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have already put on my inside pants.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
