Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
