You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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