Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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