well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
