R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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