Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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