I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Randomize
