I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize