i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize