I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
