He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
