For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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