He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
