i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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