just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
