didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
