guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
