a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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